ROGER SIMON COLUMN
JANUARY 3, 2005
SIMON SAYS:
You can tell a lot about a person by whether they preferred Mary Ann or Ginger.
When did wearing a visible t-shirt under a golf shirt become a fashion statement?
Admit it: You couldn't change a flat tire if your life depended on it. (In fact, when is the last time you checked the tire pressure on your spare? For most people the answer is "never" or "I didn't know that spares had tire pressure!")
Yes, the Baltimore policeman Jimmy McNulty on HBO's "The Wire" played by Dominic West is British and in real life speaks with a British accent. What is amazing about this is that he does an American accent better than most Americans.
Why can't they make parking meters that take credit cards?
Why at American race tracks the horses run counter-clockwise and at British race tracks they run clockwise is one of the great mysteries of life. Also, the stripes on men's ties that are British in design go from the upper left to the lower right (from the heart down, in other words) while on American design ties, they go from the upper right to the lower left.
Wallpaper can be so effective.
Paperback Pick of the Month: "Gulag" by Anne Applebaum.
When I saw the play "Closer" in 1997, the language was genuinely shocking. Mike Nichols has now turned it into a movie, but after seven years of the language on cable TV, the shock effect is virtually gone. It is worth seeing, however. In fact, it may be one of the best pointless movies ever made.
Does anyone still wear ankle bracelets? Why?
A good short-order cook is worth his or her weight in gold.
Men who wear both a belt and suspenders are really insecure.
Latest controversy amid the propertied classes: When walking your dog, if you do the civic and proper thing of scooping up the poop and putting it in a plastic bag, is it then OK to deposit that bag in a stranger's or neighbor's garbage can that is sitting out waiting for collection? Some say, "Sure, why not? Garbage is garbage." Others are violently opposed, arguing that their garbage is their property and must not be used without their permission.
I resolve to drive no more than 5 mph over the speed limit in 2005. Well, maybe no more than 9 mph over. They don't give tickets for going 9 mph over, do they? (And don't tell me to drive the speed limit. Where I live, if you drive the speed limit, you end up as the hood ornament on the truck behind you.)
Why is it so difficult to find those fat No. 1 pencils, which used to be plentiful in every newsroom in the world?
Orchids: you either love them or hate them.
You are really old if you can remember TV repairmen.
The FAA is absolutely nuts if it allows cell phone use during airline flights. At least on trains you can switch cars if the idiots in your car are bellowing too loudly. What are you going to do on a plane? Go to the baggage compartment?
And speaking of flying, I get the feeling you better use up your US Airways frequent flyer miles as soon as possible.
Posted by mindtech at January 03, 2005 03:20 PM