ROGER SIMON COLUMN
FEBRUARY 23, 2005
SIMON SAYS:
As a general rule of thumb, the ugliest building on any college campus is the School of Design.
Call me a pessimist, but I really don't think 3-D is going to make a comeback.
How come it's always the friendliest cab drivers who screw you the worst?
As a portrait photographer recently told me, "Good photographs aren't taken, they are given."
Do you know anyone who actually watches arena football?
A waiter should not make you feel guilty for ordering tap water instead of bottled water.
Donald Rumsfeld says he tried to resign two times? You know what they say: Third time's the charm!
Even though you think you are familiar with a city, you should consider one of those narrated bus tours.
If you actually trust the directions on Mapquest, you are more lost than you know.
Why do they sexually segregate the Oscars? Why do they put actors and actresses in separate categories?
I cannot remember the last time -- or even the last year -- I dealt with a bank teller.
There is a tendency to forget how talented Buddy Holly really was.
There are a number of Democratic consultants who believe that no matter what he says, Howard Dean will run for president in 2008. "He will arrange an Internet 'draft,' " one told me. "You just watch."
Anyone who says, "I'm just playing Devil's advocate" is actually saying, "I really believe this but I don't have the guts to say so."
On July 1, San Francisco will ban smoking in parks, town squares, public gardens, beaches, etc. There are two reasons: One, nobody should have to breathe second-hand smoke, indoors or out. And, two, smokers are evil and should be punished.
Penguins are hilarious.
Does anyone still use shoe trees? And why are they called that?
Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper? Let me guess: The idea is to get it to taste like anything other than Dr. Pepper.
When you think back on it, almost all the exercises we did in high school gym class were bad for us.
There is nothing static about static electricity.
No, it's not your imagination: Restaurants are getting noisier and noisier.
How could anybody possibly know that every snowflake is different? Is somebody keeping track? And where do they keep them all?
People who use made-up swear words like, "Oh, sugar!" are just kidding themselves.
Science has never really answered the question: Are oysters alive when you eat them?
Posted by rsimon at February 23, 2005 01:41 PM