ROGER SIMON COLUMN
MARCH 16, 2005
SIMON SAYS:
Does anyone still have a rumpus room?
The most President Bush can hope for out of his Social Security campaign is to make the Democrats "grasp the nettle" first and come up with their own plan for benefit cuts before Bush is forced to come up with his. And the Democrats will do this. If they are very, very stupid.
What is with all this knuckle-cracking in public? When did this become acceptable behavior? Stop it!
Niagara Falls is actually very impressive.
There are few cheeses that I don't like.
According to a Pentagon audit, Halliburton Company bought $82,000 worth of liquefied petroleum gas in Kuwait and then charged U.S. taxpayers more than $27 million to transport the gas to Iraq. Government auditors call the fee "illogical." I think I could come up with some others words like "insane" or "Why isn't somebody in handcuffs over this?"
Did the Atlanta courtroom shootings really deserve THAT much live airtime?
We all know that when China pays workers 50 cents an hour, they can make goods inexpensively and sell them cheaply in the United States. But think of the other side of the coin: Workers making 50 cents an hour are not going to be able to afford American products. How many iPods are we going to sell to people who make that little? Which is part of what the trade deficit is all about: China sells us everything from television sets to textiles, while we sell China scrap metal. No wonder our trade deficit with China is over $15 billion.
When is the last time you saw a really good ventriloquist? (And have you ever seen a ventriloquist's dummy that did not give you nightmares?)
People who don't signal their turns should be beaten with sticks.
From polltrack, a service of nationaljournal.com: "At its peak, the number of people who said the war in Iraq was worth fighting reached 70 percent at the start of the conflict in the spring of 2003; now it is at 45 percent. That figure has dropped fairly steadily since its peak, but it is up three points since December's 42 percent. And President Bush's numbers on the issue show an even more dramatic fall: Approval on his handling of the situation in Iraq -- at 75 percent in the April 2003 poll -- is now at 39 percent, an all-time low for the ABC/Post survey."
If there is summer stock, how come there's no winter, spring or fall stock?
This may not be uppermost on your mind, but the Taiwan Relations Act of 1979 does not commit the United States to the military defense of Taiwan. People just think it does.
You're pretty old if you can remember when pop-tops actually came off the can.
I'll bet you've never seen a real washboard in your life. (Unless you play in a zydeco band, that is.)
Odd but true: If you are walking along and your arms are full and you are trying to balance objects, just sing as you go and you will not drop a thing. Don't ask me why.
How on earth do woodpeckers avoid headaches? It would drive me crazy.
Do mothers still say: "Stop that! You could put somebody's eye out!"?
From Adam Nagourney's story in the New York Times, March 16: "Some associates of Mr. Kerry said Mr. Edwards had privately assured Mr. Kerry that he would not run for president in 2008 if Mr. Kerry decided to run again, a promise similar to that made by Senator Joseph I. Lieberman to Al Gore after the 2000 presidential campaign." But Lieberman was nuts to make that pledge to Gore and Edwards would be nuts to make that pledge to Kerry.
There is nothing wrong and a lot right with plastic wine corks. (Yes, plastic comes from petrochemicals, but it saves cork oak trees.)
A lot of people are willing to leave a penny, but most people are too chicken to take a penny.
Could the Ten Commandments be considered the first blog?