I'll bet you can't remember the last time you rolled down a car window.
They can run those commercials from now until the cows come home and I still won't believe there is actually something called "restless leg syndrome."
And, by the way, when do the cows come home?
It will require training, sacrifice and devotion, but I intend to change careers, to stop merely observing life and to start participating in it: Yes, I plan on becoming a notary public.
Just admit it: It looks goony enough to have one electronic device clipped to your belt, but having two is simply unacceptable.
Why is the last page of almost everything you print out a wasted page? Are the software companies colluding with the paper companies?
Are you one of those people who searches your wallet for the most crumpled, oldest, most wretched dollar bill when you need to give a tip? Stop being one of those people.
What on earth did we do before jicama?
T-shirt of the Week: "Rock Is Dead. Long Live Paper and Scissors!"
"Snakes On A Plane." I haven't seen it; I just like to say it: "Snakes On A Plane."
And while we are on the subject, get on a plane (with our without snakes) and go to Chicago and see Millennium Park. I guarantee you that you have never seen anything like it. It is an incredible blend of modern art - - and not that giant junky art that corporations and federal buildings stick in their arid, windswept plazas, but engaging, eye-pleasing art - - and nature.
Why do fast food joints treat ketchup packets as if they were the most valuable commodity on earth? (And you can tell a lot about a person by whether he spells it catsup or ketchup.)
Paperback Pick of the Month: "The Circus in Winter" by Cathy Day.
Stick to Canon for cameras, Olympus for digital recorders and Sony for televisions and you can't go too far wrong.
People who say "very unique" should be beaten with sticks.
Now that buttons have been invented, can anybody tell me why cufflinks still exist?
Reply to e-mail from Baffled in Buffalo: It is perfectly OK to mix French dressing with Ranch, blue cheese or even creamy garlic dressing on your lettuce wedge at the Olive Garden. But do not mix them together in advance. Drizzle each over the wedge in wavy, intersecting lines.
I hate to be the one to tell you, but "Love's Labor Lost" is as tedious as it is incomprehensible. What on earth was Shakespeare thinking?
A chocolate chip cookie should have no fewer than five chips in it.
Uma Thurman has one of the worst laughs in the world. (And don't ask me how
I know.)
The Association of Trial Lawyers of America has changed its name to the American Association for Justice. I feel better now.
Has there ever been a cuter name for a blog than The Ana Log? Though, as those who know know, it is pronounced The Ahh-na Log. (You can find it at time.com.)
Want to convert centigrade to Fahrenheit without complicated formulas? Double the temperature and add 32. It's rough but it gets you in the ballpark.
Good advice that we never seem to follow: When you find a loose thread, cut it, don't pull it.
Does anyone still send perfumed letters? (Perfumed e-mail could be the next big thing.)
True Confessions: I have had impure thoughts about women with toe rings.
Which makes you feel worse: showing up at an event and being underdressed or showing up at an event and being overdressed?
They used to call them McMansions and now they call them Hummer Houses.
I have checked with theological experts and they agree: there is no God-given right for people to recline their airline seats all the way back.
Posted by rsimon at August 21, 2006 01:39 PM